Sin by Silence Blog

Film explores ugly, silent cycle of domestic abuse

Oct 15th, 2009 In: Press Sin by Silence Tour By: admin Comments 0

The Journal Gazette of Fort Wayne, IN  –

One woman was married to a pastor, another to a police officer. Both endured years of abuse – and then they killed their husbands.

Their chilling stories are detailed in the 50-minute documentary “Sin by Silence,” which will be shown at 7 p.m. Friday at the Allen County Public Library.

Director Olivia Klaus will lead a discussion after the film.  “We are hoping to make a difference in breaking the cycle of violence.  What is going to help change the tragedy of domestic violence is if every person starts to take responsibility to help their friends, help their family, help themselves to know the signs and know what to look for.”

The event is sponsored locally by the Center for Nonviolence as part of Domestic Violence Awareness Month.

“We hope to educate people (about) the lack of options and the layers of complexity in abusive relationships. It’s just not that simple for a victim to finally gain the courage to leave, seek help and try to live life on their own,” Klaus says.

The film gives viewers a chance “to understand in a deeper way what abuse within a relationship looks like,” says Beth Beams, a coordinator of women’s programs at the center.

Domestic violence typically involves a tangled web of betrayal, fear and shame, she says, and that makes it difficult for a victim to define the situation as such. Most are in a state of denial. And it’s just human nature to want to believe and forgive a loved one, she says.

“A woman in the movie says, ‘He was my knight in shining armor, he was the person who made the world light up for me,’ ” Beams says.

The film also gives reason for hope. In the past 20 years, plenty has changed: There are more domestic violence services and organizations, more outreach and training programs.

But, “there are equally powerful reasons for people to stay silent. We are still creating batterers and raising children in violent households,” Beams says.

She would like to see more efforts to teach communication skills, empathy and compassion.

Klaus agrees there is more work to be done.

“The typical response … has not changed: ‘Why doesn’t she just leave?’ ” she says.

That’s why she made the film – to show how difficult it can be to do just that.

“Just because someone may be in crisis … doesn’t make them weak or unintelligent or insensitive,” Beams says.

“In fact, those women who successfully get themselves out of a (bad) situation, who start life again, who make changes for their children, are some of the most powerful you’ll ever meet.”

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